my-ruin's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- corruption. stupidity. greed. more stupidity i feel really really really bad and weird. kat - honestly that would work out a bit better. i had this whole long talk with mike *records manager* today. he made me realize all the reasons i wanted to quit in the first place. and now i want to again. and i'm going to as soon as i find another job. there are only so many times someone can dick me over before i want to slit their throats. i'm not to far from that point. today was easter. for my lil retarted ass. the whole Ukrainian thing, remember. Its cool when you know other people who arent related to you that just out of nowhere wish you a happy easter cos they're cool cos they celebrate the same shit as you do. *i <3 rick* my blasphemousboi. heh. we rule the school. today we found out that we have birds living in some secret room on the side of my house. hmmmm. SO hunter, yeah...remember him? I havent seen him in almost a month. he owes me $20 which i could use. I dont have any desire to hang out with him. its stupid cos i love him alot, but he really pisses me off. like what he said about me calling him + telling him i miss him because i want to screw him. haha. and once i told him i had a boyfriend he stopped calling me. before i told him he'd call me about 4-5 times a week. now its nothing. how the fuck is that susuposed to make me feel. i even asked him the last time we actually chilled (when he asked me all those questions about him + sex) "is that how you view me? you think of me and wonder when i'm gonna let you in my pants again?". he said no. he said he holds me in the highest regards. why do i know thats a lie? Why does it hurt? 11:06 pm - 05.05.02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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