my-ruin's Diaryland
Diary
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for a lack of better words, i'm a loser.
I'm sleepy. I can't sleep. What else is new??
The words "DOUBLE DOWN RULZ" adorn the back of my hand. In permanent marker none the less. Angelo wrote it. We had some bonding time today. For about 20 minutes. It was nice. We talked. Well I was the one speaking. He listened and asked questions. Its really really really nice to have someone listen. I'm not used to having people listen. Usually they just wait to talk.
We got into the subject of me quitting. I wanted to today. When i don't have change i start going crazy. I think that is the change i need to make. Then the conversation went into me having no friends and how i'm sick and tired of it. And how i lost all the friends i had. He started telling me that billy conciders me a really good friend. and that he defends me everytime frank has shit to say. Don't get me wrong, i appreciate that alot. but its weird. I don't concider him a friend friend. I don't hang out with him outside of work, and if i do he'll think that i want him or something. Then i'd be "leading him on". I need to confront him about that. Anyway Angelo told me i should hang out with him, billy + anthony sometime. i'd love to. they're my fav people at work. but i dunno i dont see it happening. he asked if i wanted to go to the diner with them tonight. i turned him down cos frank was there. ikk. fat fuck.
christi was there. shes awsome. she said she wants to be cute like me or somthing. she wants to look like me and have black hair like me. thats a really sweet compliment but today i was having an ugly day. no no wait. i was having a hideous day. i was sick. i was tired. i was walking around in a daze. my hair was all poofy from the rain. not to mention the hair cut i have is really pissing me off. meeeeeeh. fuck. whatever. i'm gonna stop whining. maybe try to sleep or something.
oooh...i saw kathleen today. she's letting me keep the mooooovie cos her mommie got it for her on dvd. You rock, sweetness!! thanks. gimmme a ring on the telly tomorrow if you wanna go + buy a puzzle with yr lil myke. ::smooches::
1:29 am - 04.23.02
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