my-ruin's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

unarmed bandit + da kung fu chick

I just got home from chillin + illin with Hunter. It was good. It was strange. It was comfort. It was irritating.
--first off-- i gotta say this boi decided to hang out with me on less than 2 hours of sleep AND not having a place to sleep. (if he leaves he cant come home late, he hasta come home in the morning - dont ask)

he picked me up from work and we drove around for a lil bit. we wound up at this train station we always used to go to. I dunno if it was to remind me of old times or just to be there. so everything was good until he pulls out the damned dime bag. I used to not mind when he smoked infront of me or with me in the car driving or whatever. but he's a different person this time. theres no acid, there's no dust. just weed and stoges. so whatever. i decided not to give a fuck. so he gets out of the car for a min goes in his trunk and pulls out his guitar. so we were just chillin and singing to songs as he was playing them on his pruddy black accoustic 6string. of course he decided to make a few songs up about me. the one he sang mostly was "psycho bitch". hmmpmh. its all outta love.
on the way home he starts acting a lil strange. then he starts asking me if i call him and tell him that i think about him/miss him alot because i wanna fuck him? pssssht. honey that was a thing of the past. he said that if i was truely happy with my relationship with my boi now that probably wouldnt be the way i am around him. so we talked it over.
he feels stupid because he said he missed his chance because he was "sleeping with his eyes open". which was true. we were together all the time, but we werent "together". as many times as he told me how beautiful i am, as many times we just sat and meditated infront of *Mary* or watched the spider sleep in her hand or listen to the field mice under the leaves.
Or Atlantic city. holding eachother on the beach at 3am. feeling the soft, gentle kisses turn into those hard passionate ones.

just being together - unofficially.

the fact of the matter is, i'm still the most comfortable when i'm with him. Its not a bad thing. I wish it was a better thing. but he was *sleeping with his eyes open*, and i sifted through his fingers, back into keith's.

keith is my world. i dont think thats gonna change anytime soon. I love hunter. but its not the same.

On a much more -completely- lighter note i just got an email from moi Aimee (echo).That is so cool I heard that WSOU was playing us yay! Wish you could be here for our show next week. we are releasing an ep. ourselves soon should be available online soon. we are not doing the NJNY warped dates but we are trying to book dates for east coast asap tell everyone I said HI!and hug yourself!
xoxox
AECHO

so booooooooo! to them not doing ny/nj warped. but jay is playing so my arse is there.

love + bruises,
natalie

3:47 am - 04.06.02

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next