my-ruin's Diaryland Diary

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all the drama that you crave

I got 6 hrs of sleep.

these stupid boys are driving me mad. They make me feel so anonymous. It feels like they just wanna hook up with me for sex.

and let me tell you no one is gettin it if im not wanting it.

even david said that when he did like me (for a breif moment in the past) it wasnt about my personality, it was because of my sexuality.

shit like that upsets me.

thats just fucked up.

I had another freaked out dream involving a midget/troll type of guy living in my basement (it wasnt my house it was a combo of tower records and my house). I was with keith and we wanted to see him but we couldnt find him. he was always right ahead of us, right where we couldnt see him.

tre cracked out, no?

The other thing thats been really annoying me is taking place at my job. Everyone is buying Aalyiah's (not sure if i remember how to spell her name)cds and all of the movies she was in. Her latest album came out a few months ago, it didnt sell too well. now EVERYONE and their mom is buying a copy, even have some people asking me to put in special orders for her older ones.

WHY is this?? WHY? the music and those movies are exactly the same from before she died.

or maybe its just peoples morbid brains "ooh look shes dead now, its more fun to watch" or some load of shit such as that.

I wanna go out in a tragic mannor too. I want to be shot or in a car accident...or die in my sleep. Something where no body i know is around to witness anything.

maybe i want to die in the arms of the person i intend to spend the rest of my life with, as im looking up into his eyes with my last ounce of strenght.

Drama can be fun.

10:27 pm - 08.28.01

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